From the recording Lightened By Love - Download

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8. I Don’t Want To Be Here Anymore (4:34) (Lorrie Newman Keating (BMI)); ©2013 Lorrie Marie Newman Keating)

A few years back, a long-term friend confided that he was having doubts about his marriage. Of course, that is something that I think every married person has from time to time, myself included. It just so happened that one of my time-to-times coincided with his, so his doubts and issues mirrored - and magnified - my own. This song is the product of that discourse, the good news being that he is still with his - and I am still with mine!


Lying wide awake this morning, never really slept at all - I watch the bedroom curtains gently sway
Looking over at you sleeping, deeply dreaming next to me - the pictures in my mind begin to play

I can see you look at me, and I feel you hold my hand
All the laughter and the love that we once shared
Then…suddenly, the pictures start to fade, and in spite of the promises we made

I just know…that I don’t want to be here anymore

I think back to the time when we met and fell in love, but I can’t find the way I used to feel
I try to make some sense of all this emptiness inside, but my life is so confusing, so unreal

I know I’ll be the instrument of the hurt that you will know
When I tell you all the things I’m feeling now
Oh, how I hope that I can make you see that some things just aren’t meant to be

And I know – that I don’t want to be here anymore

I never knew I could ever feel this way after loving you
I never dreamed I would entertain the thought of ever leaving you
I never thought I would find myself wanting to move on……….without you…alone again

We were friends for years before we finally chose to wed
But friends aren’t always lovers, though they try
There’s no passion when we touch - no lover’s warm embrace
And I can’t find what I long for in your eyes

I need someone whose kisses spark a pounding in my heart,
Who just looks into my eyes and sees my soul
So when you wake and I tell you my goodbye,
I will search for forgiveness in your eyes

But I know – that I don’t want to be here anymore

Yes I know – that I don’t want to be here anymore